Looking for Love
There’s a song that goes, “Looking for love in all the wrong places. Looking for love in too many faces . . .” I think it’s a Country/Western song. I used to hear it being played on the radio when I was a kid growing up in Knoxville, Tennessee. I haven’t heard that song in awhile, but I’ve definitely heard its message in my head over and over and over again. For me “looking for love in all the wrong places” was rooted in my thoughts that if I loved someone who had been poorly treated earlier in their life (perhaps they suffered as a child, lived through a painful relationship or had suffered great loss due to losing loved ones) the person would have no choice but to love me in return. Who wouldn’t want to love someone who treated them better than near anyone else they’d met before? I spent years holding to those thoughts. Then I got married and discovered firsthand (not through a touching movie or emotional book) that we cannot force anyone to allow us to love them. I also learned that love and fantasy rarely meet up. And last, I learned a most valuable lesson – we waste our time when we beg others to allow us to love them when we haven’t yet begun to fully love ourselves.
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